Ted trades on the natural dissonance of juxtaposing a buddy flick/rom com with a misogynist, homophobic, narcissistic trash talking toy bear. The result is very often hilarious, occasionally flat. Ted, the bear voiced over by director Seth MacFarlane (The Family Guy) wins you over with high-cred believability, a spot-on don’t-give-a-shit Boston accent and irreverence galore. No comment’s too crass or raunchy for this dude, and even his having sex with a human (Jessica Barth) seems entirely in context.
It all makes sense once you get to know Ted. Bestowed as a gift to a very young, lonely John, Ted shocks John one day by speaking directly to him. The subsequent scene usually would have the talking teddy bear clam up once John’s parents are in the room, but here the brazen bears actually talks to them as well. Pretty soon he’s going on the Johnny Carson talk show and becomes a full-fledged celebrity…Cut to 25 or so years later and a grown-up John (Mark Wahlberg) and Ted hang out smoking bongs and discussing the early 1980s flick, Flash Gordon quite a bit. John works in a rental car agency but he’s done pretty well by himself in landing Lori (Mila Kunis) as a live-in girlfriend. Only she’d rather have the rascal bear take a hike. He gets his own place and a job in a supermarket. After which John still hangs out with Ted every day, often cutting out of work. Climax one happens when Sam Jones (NOT the ex-Boston Celtic) of Flash Gordon fame shows up at a party of Ted’s same night John is dutifully accompanying Kunis to her boss’s important gatherings. Climax two occurs at Fenway park of all places after a subplot involving a devious Giovanni Rabisi and his overweight and creepy son (Aedin Mincks) blows up unexpectedly into thriller territory.
Wahlberg hasn’t been this good since The Departed. Make no mistake acting opposite a, er, teddy bear, is no mean feat to begin with. Plus this all could have gone very wrong very fast. MacFarlane keeps Ted so provocatively smutty and could-care-less that any wince-inducing moments fade into the overall hilarity of this guy. The computer animation outdoes itself. There are endless cultural references and cheap shots at celebrities, and the cute and cuddly Wahlberg/Kunis stuff nicely offsets the unabashed obnoxiousness anytime Ted opens his mouth. Mostly wearing its outrageousness well, Ted’s waverings into inanity ought to be overlooked.
We moviegoers need deep laughs like this far too much to quibble. Given the state of most comedies these days, let’s take all we can get and not look a giftbear in the mouth.
8 Crude and Nasty Funnies (out of 10)