Varnished to a fault, the wildly uneven Million Dollar Arm throws one too many gopher balls yet enjoys an admirable relief effort from Jon Hamm, and a terrific save from Lake Bell. The based-on-a-true-story yarn of the recruitment of two novice pitchers from India, the film unabashedly gives an intentional walk to baseball details in favor of cutesy Disneyisms. Hamm overcomes the paint-by-numbers set-up: channel surfing between Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent and an Indian cricket match, sports agent JB Bernstein (Hamm) achieves a satori moment and goes running off to India to recruit cricket players for a reality show whose winners will receive a baseball contract.
No sooner does Bernstein arrive in India that we find ourselves knee-deep in broad stereotypes. Indians apparently are hostile to contracts and prefer a handshake and a back-door deal. Protective parents scoff at their offspring’s wish for fame and fortune. Indian food gets crushed, its poverty snickered at. Initial jokes about Indians’ love of cricket (“it looks like an insane asylum opened up and all the inmates were allowed to start their own sport,” JB says) subside after it is realized the two prized recruits care as little about the game as Bernstein. Alan Arkin shows up as a retired scout. Known for playing grumpy characters, Arkin here is encouraged to go overboard with the surliness. He spends his first several scenes with his eyes closed, including when he’s at work analyzing pitches. It’s OK, he assures JB, he can tell whether the pitch is any good by the sound of it hitting the catcher’s mitt. In a way, there’s a parallel to the film here. You probably wouldn’t be missing too much if you rested your eyes through much of this.
You would, however, miss Lake Bell (director and star of the excellent In A World) and she’s the best thing in the movie. Playing Brenda, a medical student tenant of Bernstein’s who the playboy JB at first ignores, Bell is sharp and witty. She gives “nice” lessons to JB when she notices he ignores the emotional health of his vulnerable recruits, who are not only new to America but naive to much of the nuances and gizmos of modern culture. Hamm and Bell may not exactly be Tracy and Hepburn but it’s pretty close. They manage to sidestep the brushback pitches director Craig Gillespie and screenwriter Thomas McCarthy throw their way.
Million Dollar Arm wallows in the relationship between the patsy-like Amit (Pitobash) and the two boys. The never-stops-smiling Amit seems to arrive in India like a Rule 5 ringer–he wants no pay and just wants to work for JB so he can fulfill his dream of cracking into baseball. As the interpreter, he occupies a lot of space in the film and much of it feels redundant. Arkin, for all his moxie as an actor, seems tired here (was all the eye-closing his improvisation once he read the script?) The boys are played by Madhur Mittal from Slumdog Millionaire and Suraj Sharma from Life of Pi. The Daily Show regular Aasif Mandvi earns his pay as Bernstein’s easily distracted sidekick, as does the very good Bill Paxton as a wiser-than-wise pitching coach.
By the way, one of these real-life guys was cut from the Pittsburgh Pirates; the other will resume his minor league career once he gets off the DL. It’s now seven years since Bernstein’s trip. The road to the majors for major recruits in baseball is always a less assured guarantee than any other sport. With Million Dollar Arm we are asked to celebrate the groundbreaking signing of the first two prospects from India. They won’t make you forget Yao Ming, the first Chinese superstar in the NBA. Nor will Million Dollar Arm make you forget either Jerry Maguire or Slumdog Millionaire, its two obvious inspirations.
