Time is the most precious commodity in the universe, says Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) of the moderately bizarre yet pompously predictable House of Abrasax family, rulers of the world if you will. Ironically, the notion of time–as in wasted time–kept occurring during the screening of this latest offering from Andy and Lana Wachowski, filmmakers once responsible for the quite good Bound and Matrix. Known more recently for their dim-witted Speed Racer and an interminable adaptation of Cloud Atlas, the Wachowskis manage to scare up a not horrible sci-fi tale not dissimilar in its flaws from most of their films.
They treat art direction, costumes and special effects as their main thrust. Character, and especially plot, fall into a tar pit of monotonous excess. Many of the flying fight scenes, featuring Channing Tatum as Caine Wise (huh?), a bounty-hunting, genetically engineered “splice,” who’s actually part wolf, seem to go on endlessly. While Eddie Redmayne continues to demonstrate new dimensions of acting chops, his blubbering character, Balem, unfortunately seems to be high on opium the entire film. Title character Mila Kunis, a cleaning lady turned improbable “Her Majesty” and heir to planet Earth, bounces around from Kalique to her brother Balem, to third sibling, pretty boy Titus (Douglas Booth). All are bent on deceiving her, and all come to a threshold of having the omnipotent, protective Wise show off his directors’ technical flair in a series of improbable battles.
At one point during the film’s first battle, which takes place in Chicago, the Wachowskis inexplicably decide to go after a little World Trade Center reminder. Just when the viewer is getting uncomfortable watching the Sears Tower go down in a similar fashion, our clever directors have Wise tell the unknowing Jupiter, “Don’t worry; they’ll be rebuilt in minutes.” Even in a futuristic world where all is possible, this meager afterthought of an explanation comes up short as a cure for a woefully chosen image. Balem is up to no good–he feels it necessary to harvest a youth serum comprised of the essences of hundreds of murdered earthlings. Yet, just like the Sears Tower technology is no more than an opportune device to save face, Balem’s inability to harness the bothersome Wise seems rooted in the Stone Age given all the futuristic technology at his disposal. In the right hands, credibility in science fiction can surely be stretched without a whole lot of harm. In Jupiter Ascending, however, the overextending weighs on the brain like an anvil. The haircuts and costumes sure are pretty, though.