A stillborn yarn about a super-wealthy stuffed-shirt, James King (Farrell) who suddenly finds himself sentenced to time in prison, Get Hard is a barrage of hollow sketches sewn together with racism and homophobia. King, seeking to toughen himself, asks Darnell (Hart), the guy who washes his car. King figures if Darnell’s black, he must have spent time in prison.
Then the film goes even further downhill faster than you can say, “I’ll do anything to avoid getting raped in prison.” That two comic actors as talented as Farrell and Hart would stoop so low as to sign on to such a dirt-ball premise is surprising even considering their collective track record for settling for less.
Hart briefly shines when he portrays three different characters in a scene that play-acts what King could be facing in a prison yard. While Hart deftly goes back and forth between black, Hispanic, and gay personas, the bit contrasts harshly in quality with the rest of the film and is a stark reminder that there was little more than a Saturday Night Live-length comedy sketch here. Attempts to inflate it to the size of a film incur wince-producing results at every turn. If it’s not King’s exaggerated, stereotyped ex-girlfriend, it’s her father, (a wasted Craig. T. Nelson), King’s boss at the firm, who drag the proceedings. But they’re a pleasure to watch compared to King when he hits a gay bar to force himself to learn fellatio since Darnell has declared him a failure at self-defense. I’m not making this up.
Just when it’s apparent the film’s three screenwriters have pulled this script out of their ass, King does just that–removing shivs and a gun from his anus before we’re allowed to go home. With jokes like these, who needs a horror movie?
The screenplay isn’t satisfied until it introduces a superfluous quasi-mystery subplot and a subsequent action-movie scene that’s painful to sit through. Oh, wait, there’s Farrell again getting punched by someone and, oh, there’s a quick-edit and his face is still immaculately free of any sign of punishment. Unfortunately the viewer will have no similar protection from this glib dreck.
Not least, when black characters appear in the form of gang members, Get Hard reverts to still more stereotypes. Is any of this funny? A tiny handful of chuckles is about all you’ll get. You’ll probably be too numb to even groan properly. Meanwhile, your IQ could be in danger of dropping a few points if you sit through this film. It’s about as far from a guilty pleasure as watching Ted Cruz declare for the presidency while simultaneously taking glee that he gives himself enough rope to hang his chances.
Stiflingly Insipid Trash Talk ….1 (out of 5) stars