Review: Dark Shadows

In Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows, newly awakened vampire Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) pines not only for blood but for the good old days of the 1770s. The film’s finest moments cast the mod, earthy 1970s in stark relief against Collins’ steely aplomb as an 18th century gentleman who suddenly finds himself a stranger in a strange land.

Depp shines. His perverse, meticulous accent and brash, commanding presence are strangely intensified rather than offset by his preposterous long fingernails, lofty fangs, and waistcoat finery. Unalloyed Burtonesque art design and costuming prevail, a care-laden ode to an innocent yet befuddling era. When the film suddenly shifts from an opening 18th century scene depicting a curse put on Collins by a scorned maid (Eva Green), to the 1970s and his escape from his coffin, we’re abruptly treated to a tranquil Carpenters track as jarring as a dive into a cold ocean. A later scene of Collins’ hanging out with drugged-out hippies right before he matter-of-factly decides to murder the whole lot, contains just the right amount of lightness. As Collins tries to impress the girl he’s stuck on (a convenient reincarnation of an old girlfriend whose rescue cost him his mortality) by throwing a “ball” here comes the live entertainment, a real Alice Cooper (looking at least 80), lip-synching like there’s no tomorrow. Collins asserts Cooper’s “the ugliest woman I’ve sever seen.”

While I never caught the original, far more serious TV soap Burton based his film on (the Three Stooges were on simultaneously in the same time slot in the Philly market and VCRs were years away), I certainly felt at no disadvantage with this film. It’s a real kick to marvel at Depp’s ability to blend the cocky with the curious. He’s genuinely an outsider as he attempts to restore his family’s position as fishing industry titans while also foiling Green’s nastiness as a business rival who’s also a reincarnated version of the same witch who doomed him 200 years earlier. Their scenes together click. The supporting cast is sharp–Michelle Pfeiffer as the 1970s Collins matriarch, Helen Bonham Carter as a live-in shrink for Pfeiffer’s young nephew (Gully McGrath), and especially Chloe Grace Moretz as Carolyn, Pfeiffer’s disgruntled daughter. As in any Burton film the cast competes with the sets for star billing. Dark Shadows main star, the kind of creepy mansion familiar to even casual movie buffs, towers over Burton’s quirky send-up like a constant, creaky snarl.

Screenwriter Seth Grahame-Smith is the author of Abraham Lincoln–Vampire Killer, which comes to the screen next month in a production produced by Burton. As for Depp, no slouch to challenging projects, he’s redoing The Thin Man, playing Tonto in The Lone Ranger, and planning a Dr. Seuss biopic. As far as Dark Shadows goes, don’t hurt yourself seeking out the 1200-plus episodes of its TV forerunner. Embrace this film’s escapism, ignore its stumbles, glom onto Burton’s endearing craftsmanship and Depp’s puffed-up antihero for a leadpipe cinch good time bound not to stretch your brain.

7 — 18th Century Know-It-All’s (Out of 10)